• Couples Therapy

How to Talk to Your Partner About Couples Counseling

• Lakeshore Psychotherapy Group

• August 14, 2025

It’s a common story. You’ve been feeling a growing distance, a recurring conflict that never gets resolved, or a sense of disconnection from your partner. You’ve thought about couples counseling, and the idea of having a trained professional guide you through these challenges feels like a breath of fresh air. But then comes the hard part: how do you bring it up to your partner?

The thought of suggesting therapy can feel intimidating. You might worry they’ll feel blamed, get defensive, or simply refuse to go. At Lakeshore Psychotherapy Group, we understand these anxieties. The good news is that with a thoughtful and gentle approach, you can have a productive conversation that opens the door to healing and growth.

Here are some tips to help you navigate this important discussion:

1. Choose the Right Time & Place

Avoid bringing up this sensitive topic in the middle of an argument, when you’re both stressed, or when you’re distracted by other things. Instead, choose a calm, private moment when you’re both relaxed and able to talk openly without interruption. A quiet walk, a relaxed evening at home, or even a weekend morning with a cup of coffee can provide the perfect setting.

2. Use “I” Statements

This is crucial. Starting the conversation with “You always…” or “The problem is you…” will immediately put your partner on the defensive. Instead, focus on your own feelings and experiences. Use “I” statements to express your perspective without assigning blame. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected from you lately, and it makes me feel lonely.”

3. Frame it as a Team Effort

Couples counseling isn’t about finding fault; it’s about strengthening your relationship. Frame the conversation as a proactive step you can take together to improve your connection. Emphasize that this is about a shared goal: building a happier, healthier future for both of you. You might say something like, “I love us and I want us to be even better. I think we could benefit from having a neutral third party help us work through some of our communication patterns.”

4. Acknowledge Their Feelings

Your partner may have their own reservations about therapy. They might feel like it’s a sign of failure, or they might be uncomfortable sharing personal details with a stranger. Acknowledge these potential feelings. Validate their concerns by saying something like, “I know the idea of counseling can feel a little scary, and I want to hear what you’re thinking about it.”

5. Be Prepared to Answer Questions

Your partner might have questions about what to expect. Be ready to explain that a couples therapist is a neutral facilitator who can provide tools and strategies for better communication. Reassure them that it’s a safe and confidential space. You can also do a little research beforehand on potential therapists or what a first session might look like to help ease their mind.

6. Focus on the Positive Outcome

End the conversation on a hopeful note. Remind your partner that this is an opportunity for growth, not a final resort. Talk about what you hope to gain from counseling: a deeper understanding of each other, more effective ways to resolve conflicts, or a rekindling of your connection.

Considering Couples Counseling? We’re Here to Support You.

At Lakeshore Psychotherapy Group, we understand that taking the first step toward therapy—especially as a couple—can feel vulnerable. Our experienced therapists create a warm, nonjudgmental space where both partners can feel heard, understood, and empowered to grow together.